Chapter One – The Memories
My father was not a man of many words. In fact, he seemed to speak his thoughts with very few words.
I could only read about the things he had done, and those he would never do. My memory of him is vague but I recall that he had been in the military during World War II. He was part of a special unit that would go on to lead troops in the first major attacks against Germany.
He also spoke about his best friend who was part of the same special unit who would lead Germany against the Russians. As an aside, my father told his first wife about how he had lost his best friend who was part of the same group as the Russians, and how he lost a sibling at the war.
My father was a good man. He was a great father, and I remember him telling me the first time he brought me home to look at the pictures of my mother and me before we moved.
The memories of my father tell me that he was also a great husband, a great father, and perhaps even a decent father of two children. Even if his words were never spoken, they were said with great passion and love.
I know why Dad had been so nervous that day on the stairs. I know why he had been so upset when I was told that we would be moving as warriors of the Union States of America. I know why he had sat down, and told me that we would be fighting in the greatest war.
I know what we would have become if he spoke more; if he had been quiet and peaceful as a father could be. I also know that if I had just been born where he was, we would be living in the countryside. Not having to worry about the Russians and having to be part of the great Soviet Union.
I don’t know why I do what I do. Why I have to be on the battlefield. Why I have to fight. Why I have to kill.
Why I have to hurt people.
Chapter Two – The Fallen
I’m a veteran of the Great War and I’m just now finding out what the consequences of the nuclear bomb are. I didn’t understand it all at first, but my family and my friends have explained what the true consequences are. “They may not have known about it, but it changed everything”. My mother said it was not the radiation that affected them as they were just “too tired” to make the sacrifice. My father told me that he believed it was only because the radiation affected his vision he felt, but he did not. He said that it must have been the knowledge that his sight had changed that he could not see. He said it was the radiation that was killing him more than the radiation. This is my first real reaction. I’m not sure what to think. My brother was just a baby, and he wasn’t aware of what was happening. I thought he was a fool, that the bomb killed him. I had no idea that my brother was the only one affected by this event. I think the radiation made sure of that. That man is now gone.
I’m not sure who launched the bomb, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t us. They claimed that they wanted to prevent it from being used against us. They claimed that they knew we were to be used. I don’t know what to think anymore.
My brother never talked about the bombs. My mother insisted that he knew what the outcome was and she didn’t mind, as long as he was doing the right thing. I thought he thought it was right. I am glad he is dead. He was always trying to help me. I guess he knew I was trying to help him, as I helped him. I can not help him now, he will never be able to help me again. He was going to die anyway, he could not bear being in the same city as my sister. How could he ever survive here?
I’m starting to feel that I am losing my mind. I am starting to think that this was the only thing we could have done right, that we could be safe from the bombs. I was never really interested in the war, never liked it. It had just seemed like an annoyance to everyone. I still can not believe that we were in it. It was a good thing, it’s what was right. I can no longer believe how wrong it was.
That evening on the night of the bombs, I decided to take my own life. I did it at an abandoned warehouse. It’s where all my family is right now. They have found me and told me they are sorry and I should rest. I have a feeling that they are sorry. I did the right thing.
That is all.