By the way… like all posts on ella’s blog, this one is also available in German. The language can be selected in the menu on the top right.
We asked our AI to create scenes on the topic “breakup”. Here is what she wrote for us:
“See Jane,” Tamila starts, taking a last bite into her apple before tossing it over the ledge, “This is us. This is it.” “You want to explain? We’re both crazy. This is the world we were brought into. There’s nothing you can do about it. No tests or pills or instructions. This is what happens.”
“Jane, don’t you understand? It’s amazing. We could just reach out and touch the city, or the sky. See how far we could go. We can control this world, but we can’t control ourselves. We’re more than that. We’re powerful, alive, alive. I feel alive when I’m with you. I’m happy when you’re with me. I’m alive when I’m with you.”
Jane doesn’t respond. She stares up at the sky, just past Tamila’s head. The city looks beautiful from here. Ancient and gleaming, the whole horizon mapped out in bright points. There is no shadow, no fear of anything. The sun is a perfect slice of summer on a cloudless day. Jane still hears her heart, just a little. It beats quickly, just the same as it does when Tamila’s standing next to her.
Tamila pushes her hair back off her face and follows the curve of her spine. Her hand smoothes over the material of her dress, sticky and thick from their earlier contact. She feels the movements of her skin under her fingers as she says, “It isn’t the same as here.”
“No, it’s not.” Jane’s hands flap in the breeze as she turns, staring into Tamila’s eyes. Her blue eyes. So full of life. She closes the distance and gently puts her lips on Tamila’s. They taste like nothing. She feels nothing. The pounding of her heart is all there is. She traces her thumb over the side of Tamila’s cheek, feels the weight of Tamila’s arm, the heat of her body. She pushes her hair behind her ears and gets up, walking a few steps back.
She swallows and asks, “What about heaven?”
“What about it?”
Jane looks up and sees the sun once again, as it is on its last lap through the sky.
“Jane,” she says, “are you sure?”
“Yes, I am.” She feels Tamila’s hand slip into her own and their fingers lace. Her heart beats faster as their hands are tightly clasped together.
“Jane, please, can’t you see it?”
Jane swallows again, her throat dry. “I can.” She looks up. The city, bathed in yellow light, stands above them. No shadow, no fear of anything.
“We can go there. Together.” Tamila lifts Jane’s hand to her lips and kisses it, her lips just as soft as her skin.
“Can you stop loving me?” Jane asks.
“I can’t stay.”
“Do you ever live with regret?” “All the time… I’m afraid you’re not going to like this. I’ve tried to explain to you in every way I know how how but… I can’t turn back time.”
Her eyes stared into mine with an expression of disbelief. I could feel my heart breaking a little with every word I spoke. She stood there for a while, my own anger finally bubbling to the surface.
I began to pace the room, my words slowly slipping from my tongue as I rambled on I couldn’t believe this was happening. It wasn’t possible, this was impossible. It was for her benefit.
I couldn’t turn back time and I didn’t want to hurt her…
But it was far too late for regrets…
She stood up, her fists clenched. “No, I’m not going to do this. Why would you do this to me? Why would you throw me away?”
“Look, Clem, I’m sorry. I really am. I’m just… I don’t know… I don’t know what to do.” I turned away from her in disgust.
Her eyes, filled with pain stared at me, begging, pleading, “I need you. Please, get back to me.”
I couldn’t turn back time. But maybe I could help. After all, she was the one who deserved time’s return.
“I’m sorry Clem, maybe you’re already asleep. But, maybe you deserve to wake up. Maybe you deserve to meet me. But you’ll never know.”
I turned toward her, her face a picture of confusion. I knew this was going to hurt her, but I had to do it. This wasn’t fair, this was cruel… I was cruel. I was the one holding her here in the first place.
“Maybe you deserve to wake up just so you can say that you can love me. Or maybe you deserve to wake up and think that she deserves better than you. But I can’t leave you with the truth. I’m sorry, but I have to leave you like this. Because I have no doubt that in the end, you’ll end up back where we were when, at least in my eyes, I loved you. Every detail. Every moment. Every memory.”
She began to close her eyes, tears forming in the corners. Her head fell lower to her chest as a sob escaped her throat. I slowly walked toward her, my hands shaking.
“Do you have any last requests?” I asked her.
She shook her head. “Please don’t do this. I’m sorry. Just please don’t leave me. It’s better if you move on. I won’t be here to hold you when you’re sad. Not anymore. Please… Please don’t do this. Please don’t do this.” Her words rang in my ears as I slowly came to a stop in front of her.
Before I could speak, or speak even, her soft lips pressed against mine in the most gentle kiss I had ever experienced. A single tear ran down my cheek as I closed my eyes. Her lips moved slowly against mine, as if she was trying to memorize my touch. It was like being reborn.
After what seemed like ages, I finally pulled away, my eyes still closed. “You were so much better than me, Clem.”
She opened her eyes, she smiled, her hand caressing my cheek. “That’s because I’m still here… I’m still here because I love you. Because you’re my best friend.”
With that, she caressed my cheek again, this time the cheek of my best friend, and left me standing there in awe. That was the first time anyone had ever loved me, let alone kissed me.
I watched her go. I stood there, rooted in place, my mind unable to comprehend what had just happened.
She knew. She always knew.
I had always suspected she existed. Even though she never came around much anymore, I always knew she was there.
She was just trying to help me, she wasn’t trying to hurt me… She was simply trying to help me feel alive again…
Her words ran through my head over and over again. “I don’t love you,” I thought. It was for her benefit.
But, as I felt more alive than I had ever been in my life, I knew. I knew that it had all been for nothing.
With tears streaming down my face, I slowly turned around and walked back to my car. I needed her. I wanted her. And if she was the only one who could make me feel alive again, I would give her everything.